Things That Happened This Year That Altered My Brain Chemistry
Ah, where to even start? 2024 was a bit too trippy for my brain, except the only thing I was high on is ambition, long days, and maybe too much coffee.
In this blog post I wanted to share some moments that made me pause, laugh, cry, and question how I got here.
Image of an exhibition at the NAA earlier this year.
1. Getting Asked to Shape a University Curriculum for a Degree I Never Earned
Imagine being asked to help design the curriculum for a communications department at a university you never even attended. Crazy, right? But honestly, I was flattered and honoured to even be asked. For those who don’t know, I dropped out of my final semester of my final year of varsity due to the painstaking grief and depression from the loss of my sister. Which means I never got my degree.
For that reason I couldn’t sit on the committee.
But I was way too excited about even being considered that I didn’t dwell on the fact that not having a degree is finally catching up to me, lol.
I don’t even know if I would have had the time to do whatever would have been expected of me on that committee but I would have loved the chance to contribute to the degree program that shapes the minds of the people I hire every day.
2. Realising I Run a 7-Figure Business
Let me preface this by saying: I know my numbers; I just don’t enjoy them. Finance is like sushi, watermelon, liver (and everything else I don’t eat)—some people love it, but I can’t stand the taste. So, when my sister (our finance manager), our accountant, and our banker on different occasions told me, “Hey, you’re running a 7-figure business now,” my brain short-circuited. I had two thoughts:
Who allowed this?
More money, more problems—Biggie warned me.
The growth of Beso Media from inception has been a slow one but thank goodness because the growing pains that I experienced this year alone were extreme.
One of the podcasts I listen to speaks about how many founders regret going BIG and now I understand why.
We haven’t gone BIG yet but we are on the brink of it, I don’t regret growing to this stage yet but I know now that I have to REALLY think about how I want BM to grow and how BIG.
Good problems?
3. Buying Brand-New Apple Computers for My Team
This one? This was personal. When I started this business, I dreamed of being able to provide my team with the tools they deserve. And this year, I did it—no extra funding, just pure hustle and strategy. Watching them open those shiny new Macs felt incredible, knowing they were getting tools to help them work better and remove friction in getting things done.
I once asked an older white businessman what his best entrepreneurship advice was, and he said, “Be born rich.” And I was like… real!
I started Beso Media with a laptop that was borrowed to me because I was starting an internship and had no computer or means to get one.
Every chance I’ve gotten, I’ve invested back into the business. I’ve been too scared to ask for loans, fearful of debt, but also aware that people like me don’t get loans easily.
4. Landing a 6-Figure Design Project
As a designer, landing a six-figure project with a corporate client felt like “omg, what”, little old me? It’s one of those goals you write down but never really see happening, and then suddenly you’re going back and forth with corporate people speaking corporate language.
Honestly, why do they speak like that?
That project has been ongoing for months now and even as I write this it is only 92% done. It’s been a lot of work but all worth it. It contributed to the trajectory of our year for real.
5. Crying in Front of My Team Leads
Not many people know I’m a cry baby - always been - just haven’t cried in-front of people in years lol.
So when I found myself tearing up in a room with two members of my team, I too was taken a back.
Running a business comes with constant existential dread—especially when you realise that while you're chasing your dreams, others are here to work and may leave as soon as they find a better gig. It’s a weird feeling, leading people whose livelihoods depend on the company you’re building but knowing they’re not really in it like that. I get it—capitalism is brutal. And yet, the concept still hits me like a ton of bricks.
Pretty sure this is why billionaires (unethical concept) are detached from their workforce. That would be the only way, lol - not care about your workforce and just use them to make money.
6. Getting Help
With the growth came the realisation that we were not ready for it.
So many holes in our systems and mindsets that any more pressure and BM would have crashed. I knew something had to happen so I finally reached out to people to help me… us.
I brought someone in to introduce Jam Sessions for the team - a platform where we get together discuss and share ideas. Those have taken off and have been transformative.
And then I brought someone in to help me develop a training program for me, my team leads and the entire team at large. She is also helping us figure out and map out our systems. Really excited to really get into it in the new year.
Another person who has been helpful is our accountant, through some sessions he’s helping me understand the business and finance world.
Entrepreneurship can get lonely - especially as sole founder - but these sessions validated and affirmed me.
What Keeps Me Going
Despite the chaos, I’m grateful. Every day, I get to create, imagine, and play with ideas I dreamed about as a little girl. Sure, I’m dramatic about my workload (who isn’t?), but I wouldn’t trade this for anything. I’m figuring it out, doing what I love, and somehow making it work.
2024 definitely came with a lot of lessons and clarity. It also showed me that anything is literally possible and figure-out-able. I’m taking that into 2025.
Here’s to another year of brain-altering moments—hopefully with fewer (or just the right amount) tears and more Apple products.